I just have to say, what  a tremendous thing that was that got off my chest that night.
It may not have been a planned moment for me but I appreciate the spontaneity of it all.
Good company plus booze does wonders, I swear.

Thanks guys. I love you all :) still not over the feeling hahaha

I'm not over you yet. I thought I was, but I guess I've only been fooling myself for the past few weeks.
And I don't think I'll be getting over you any time soon.


...all I really wanna do is love you, the kind much closer than friends use, but I still can't say it after all we've been through

My heart literally feels like it's gasping, trying desperately to make it to the next beat, and the next, and the one after that...
My chest feels hollow and my heart feels like it's barely hanging on to my ribs or something, creaking and swaying from one end to the other.
It's been like this for days, sometimes keeping me up at night, sometimes being such a big distraction that I lose focus in class.
and I know why.
No matter how many times I think and overthink about it, no matter how many times I try to explain it to myself so I could get a move on, no matter how many times it gets broken and beaten up, it's still holding on to that something I should have let go a long time ago..

either that or I need to visit a cardiologist soon :|

Because setting myself up for heartbreak each and every time might be my only way to get over you. Stupid, I know, but I'd rather go through with this than the alternative, which might be a thousand-fold more devastating than this.